One of our friends was driving with her husband and they were talking about how they hadn’t had sex in awhile and they were living more like roommates than husband and wife. They were sitting in the car being short with each other and she said ‘we’re kind of like just friends right now. And my real ‘friends’ are a LOT nicer than you are.’ They laughed about it —an ‘oh my God!’ kind of thing. But it was an eye-opening comment that begs the question—why are we not as courteous to our own husbands as we are with our friends? Your husband walks in the door and you WANT to say hi as the kids go running up to him, but instead you fume at the counter waiting for him to ask YOU how your day was. What is THAT? Why do we have resentment towards him before the poor guy even makes eye contact As we’re sitting here in our office talking about this topic, we realize that we each do this, too. How many times have we rolled our eyes or not given our husbands the common courtesy and respect we give to our girlfriends? If a friend walked in the door at 6 p.m. at night, we’d give them a big hug and hello, yet we turn our back to our husbands.
No matter where the feeling comes from, we do have the power to shift it. We can go with the mood that is growing—we can choose to ignore each other and wait until the other person gives us the response we want or ‘make a move’—or we can create the mood WE want. Right?