Little Glimpses

by Trisha-and-Amy on March 25, 2010

In researching our books, when we’d talk to the prior generation of mothers, we’d often ask if their now grown or almost grown children were the same basic people as when they were three or four or five years old. Almost all of the time, the answer was a resounding ‘yes.’ So it’s really wild when your child busts out with a thought or insight or opinion that might just give you a glimpse into who they’ll be – or who they already are.

The other night, when Amy was in the midst of a total mental breakdown over house and family stuff, her kids Sam and Emily came over to her, kind of horrified that she had snot running down her nose and was heaving sobbing, uncontrollably (she usually holds it somewhat together and fakes it pretty well in front of them). Emily immediately broke down crying – “I’m scared! What’s going on?!” Sam, on the other hand, put his hand on her shoulder and calmly said, “Mom, you need to BREATHE. Just breathe, c’mon. You don’t need this stress. It’s okay, really.” It was quite amazing to see not only the difference in their reactions, but how they are becoming their own, strong, thoughtful little people.

And by the way, it’s totally completely acceptable to let your kids see you have a breakdown, and then see you pull yourself together. No need to put up the facade – it’s too much work, anyway.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

rachel beto March 30, 2010 at 12:11 pm

I’m halfway through your book and it is one of the most liberating, fun, honest books I’ve read in a long time! I thought it was just me–the comparing and competing thing. I’m starting up a book club this spring (because I need another excuse to make a dozen cupcakes and clean the house) and your book is going to be our first one. Thanks!

rachel beto March 30, 2010 at 12:12 pm

(I’m going to write a blog post about your book in a day or two, if you’re interested in seeing more of my thoughts on it.)

Sara March 30, 2010 at 4:07 pm

I totally agree that it is OK to let your kids see you have breakdowns and recoveries. That’s how they learn, when they have similar feelings, that those feelings are normal and that they will get through it and feel better again. It is such an important lesson they can only learn buy seeing.

Trisha-and-Amy March 30, 2010 at 4:09 pm

Rachel, that’s so great to hear! That was our intent when we wrote the book. And yes, we’d love to see your blog post.

Amy & Trisha

Stephenie April 22, 2010 at 8:03 pm

I was questioning this very thing the other day. My mom NEVER cried in front of me. Of course, she wasn’t one for emotions in general. I am the complete opposite, very loving with my son, who will be 3 in June. The other day my husband called with very bad news and I broke down crying in front of him. He came up and said “Don’t worry, Mommy. I will protect you, I’m your protector. Be happy . . . we’re having hot dogs for dinner!” It made me laugh and feel terribly guilty all at the same time!

Naomi-Suzanne March 12, 2011 at 3:44 am

I love this! Your book is so refreshing &true to life and it’s so great to know I’m not alone in my views on life,parenting & the ups & downs it brings! Love to you guys from across the water!!

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