Amy here…
Paul and I celebrated our 13th Anniversary yesterday, and you would’ve thought we won the lottery based on our waitress’s reaction. It was like we were the last couple left on earth! It’s interesting — being in our 40′s now, with a lot of people we know re-evaluating their marriages, their lives, their choices, being married even a medium amount of time feels like an accomplishment.
But what standard should we strive for? Is feeling ‘ok’ about your marriage good enough? Should we work — really take time to study– how to make our unions that much better? I mean, after the kids are long gone, this is what we’ve got. It just seems logical that we’d want to make that ‘thing’ successful. But it’s tough, and I have a few friends right now just hanging on to their marriages — indifferent, even. “If it’s this hard now, how do I know it will get better down the line?” my friend “Sheila” just said to me. “Maybe it’s time for a change.”
I can’t judge that. We all feel ‘eh’ sometimes, and let our partnerships skate for awhile. Maybe it’s just making sure that somewhere along the line, you take a moment to concentrate on the good – and ask “Who is this guy and why is he in my house?” Now that my kids are older, I’ve completely given up on the dishwasher being unloaded. But watching my 6 year-old daughter stare up into his eyes like he’s hung the moon…that’s pretty awesome, and makes me realize that he loves us all a lot.
