Watching My Baby Grow Up. Sad.

by Trisha-and-Amy on May 24, 2011

My first baby, Sam, was born 8 1/2 years ago. He is changing before my eyes. I don’t know how to deal with his moping-in-the-corner one minute, and calling me “Mommy” the next. For so many years, I looked forward to alone time or date night with a craving deep in my bones. The kids were so little – and I was exhausted most of the time. Now, I find myself wanting to rewind time. I can see it all unfolding before me…he’s almost 9. He’s almost half gone. My first baby.

We had a little gathering Sunday with good friends, and Sam spent most of the time sulking in another room, and I could almost feel him crawling out of his own skin. I secretly followed him around the house, wanting to give him space, but wanting a hug so badly. When he finally crawled into my lap as I was sitting at the table, I burst into tears. I miss my baby, and I desperately love the boy he’s growing into.

I guess that’s what a tween feels like…not a baby, not a teenager, but trying to hang on while still moving forward.

I feel the same exact same way.

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Debbie Rimac June 6, 2011 at 4:30 am

Awwww! This note made me tear up! I have a 5.5 year old son, a 4 year old daughter, and another baby girl on the way. I highly value my alone time and date nights, and this has been such a wonderful reminder of what I’ll be missing one day! And this was definitely a wake-up call because I guess I didn’t realize that the “tweens” started so soon! I was thinking 11 or 12…but knowing my son is just a few years away from this makes me really sad! My kids spend a lot of time at my in-laws’ house, and up until this morning, I was dreading the upcoming weeks when my in-laws will be on vacation for a few weeks…”What the heck am I going to do with the kids all by myself the entire time?” (Yes, I am married but my husband works A LOT.) But now? I’m going to value this time instead, thanks to your post!! Thank you! :)

Trisha-and-Amy June 6, 2011 at 5:10 am

What a nice post – thank you. We’re all in it together right? Always a new phase, new emotions, new discoveries.

Jennifer June 6, 2011 at 8:09 pm

This made me tear up a bit, as so many things do these days. My firstborn is 6 and just finished kindergarten and I kind of can’t believe that he’s left babyhood behind and is now a boy. Every single trite thing they say about parenting, starting with “the days are long, but the time is short” is oh-so-true and I am hyper-aware of this every single day (except when I’m trying to get my three to bed!)

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