Many of us grew up in a world with daily chores, allowances earned, college paid for with three jobs, trips to the mall resulting in window shopping, and the idea of moving out after college a complete given.
Now, with two kids who live in a different world, one of my recurring nightmares is that they will grow up feeling entitled. I’m constantly reminding them of what others DON’T have, hoping they’ll feel grateful. I go to the craft store and make a ‘chore chart’ which we stick to religiously for about two weeks until things inevitably fall apart. I try try try to derail them from electronics (‘hey, go build a FORT!’) until I cave in after their screaming makes my head pop off.
The thing is, I don’t want to feel guilty for working really hard and doing better than my parents did. Isn’t that the goal? Wanting MORE for your kids than you had? But then…there’s the rub. Being fortunate enough to give your kids more…and not turning them into spoiled brats.
I think this New York Times article (link below) is really interesting, because the writer is completely panicked over how to avoid creating spoiled monsters. But at the end of the day…I think our core values — how to treat people, how to give back, how to see the world through others’ eyes, how to work hard — are implanted in our kids long before we realize.
We live in a different world…but I really believe (or want to believe) that we can inspire goodness in our kids regardless of what they have or don’t have.
What do you think??
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/08/our-spoiled-rotten-children/?smid=pl-share
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I’ve known enough ‘rich kids’ with hearts of gold to have learned that giving your kids tons of stuff doesn’t ‘spoil’ them… I grew up in a lower income family so ‘stuff’ was limited – I think I was ‘spoiled’ because my parents didn’t focus too much on teaching me how to work for things – but it had nothing to do with how much or little we had. I think kids are only ‘spoiled’ if they develop a bad or selfish attitude.